So I have sold my car, packed most of my house, and now I am very tired. I am actually thinking about going to sleep in a couple of hours. The only reason that I am on my computer is so I could check my email. The only thing that I need to pack is my bathroom. I just don't want to clean my bathroom which is why I haven't packed my bathroom.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Feelings
I am moving back to Arizona in a few days and all I want to do is cry. I know it is what I am suppose to be doing, but I can't help but feel sad. I have made so many wonderful friends while I have been here in Utah, and I am very afraid that I will never see them again, after Lisa's wedding of course. It is not like when I moved to Thatcher. My friends were three hours away and I would see them regularly, but Provo is 13 hours away, and that isn't something you can do over the weekend.
On top of those feelings, I feel like I am a failure for not getting my homework done. I know it is my fault, and I have no good reason to give for it not being done. I feel like I have let everyone down. I feel like I am letting my Bishopric down, Lisa and Steven down, my roommates down, my parents down, and my family down. I feel like no matter what choice I make, others will suffer the consequences of my actions.
What I want more than anything is to talk to Jenelle. I can hear her voice in my head, but it isn't the same. I want my best friend, aside from my Mom. That conversation is something that is going to have to wait till January though. I haven't been praying like I should lately, I think that is part of the problem. I need to talk to my Heavenly Father.
On top of those feelings, I feel like I am a failure for not getting my homework done. I know it is my fault, and I have no good reason to give for it not being done. I feel like I have let everyone down. I feel like I am letting my Bishopric down, Lisa and Steven down, my roommates down, my parents down, and my family down. I feel like no matter what choice I make, others will suffer the consequences of my actions.
What I want more than anything is to talk to Jenelle. I can hear her voice in my head, but it isn't the same. I want my best friend, aside from my Mom. That conversation is something that is going to have to wait till January though. I haven't been praying like I should lately, I think that is part of the problem. I need to talk to my Heavenly Father.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Sick
So I have been sick this past week and I think that it is really lame. I was just feeling better about my mono when I get this sore throat, stuffy nose, ear ache thing. Not to mention that on Tuesday I came as close to barfing as to actually dry heave, but not actually barf, I haven't felt like that since Christmas three years ago. I am not loving life at the moment.
To add on top of all that, I still am undecided about moving. I have been leaning towards yes, but I am afraid to tell my peeps. I really don't want to let them down. At the same time I really have been homesick and want nothing more than to go home. Why do I have such conflict in my heart?
I have spent the afternoon on my computer, I haven't been on it since Saturday night, and I enjoyed looking at what my friends have been up to. I really miss some of my friends down in Arizona. I was reading Stacey's blog and was laughing so hard I was coughing. It really cheered me up. I want a Stacey hug so bad, and to go cupping, something I have wanted to do since she talked about it in a talk many moons ago.
To add on top of all that, I still am undecided about moving. I have been leaning towards yes, but I am afraid to tell my peeps. I really don't want to let them down. At the same time I really have been homesick and want nothing more than to go home. Why do I have such conflict in my heart?
I have spent the afternoon on my computer, I haven't been on it since Saturday night, and I enjoyed looking at what my friends have been up to. I really miss some of my friends down in Arizona. I was reading Stacey's blog and was laughing so hard I was coughing. It really cheered me up. I want a Stacey hug so bad, and to go cupping, something I have wanted to do since she talked about it in a talk many moons ago.
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