I am so happy for you at this time in your life. You are getting married and starting a family with a great guy (even though I have never met him, I am sure he is). I have been sad that I can't share everything like we use to because of the miles between us, but I still think of you has one of my best friends, and I thought you felt the same. The day we spent in the temple was one of the best days I had had in a long time.
When I got your wedding invitation yesterday, I cried. Not because you are getting married, but because I feel you are cutting me out of your life. There once was a time, not too long ago, when three hours meant nothing to us, not even 15, I would have been a bridesmaid in your wedding. That hurt, but what hurt more was that you didn't invite me to your ceremony. I thought I was your sister and you were certainly the one that I never had.
I thought we shared a bond. You were the one I ran to when my life was a chaotic, and you ran to me when life got messy. When did that change? I know we have both been busy and poor since you got home from your mission, but I thought we were still best friends. I guess I was wrong. My best friend would have meant it when she said she was sorry, instead of sounding like you were apologizing because you though it was the right thing to do.
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I have been feeling more and more left out, even before your mission. You were distant that afternoon we spent together before you went to the MTC. Then the evening we spent together when you got home I felt left out of the conversation. I haven't been on a mission and that is all you and Pain talked about. It was like you gals were a member of a secret sorority and I wasn't invited because I hadn't served a mission. I had things I wanted to share too, but I wasn't included.
I thought about not going to your reception, not to get even, I doubt you won't even notice if I am there or not, but because I think I might cry for what has passed. I am going, but only because I promised your sister that I would spend time with her. So, I will see you on June 19.
(This is here because I am too chicken to tell her. It is her wedding day after all, and I don't want to ruin it for her.)
3 comments:
That's rough - I know how much that can hurt. I also know how hard it is to decide about who to invite to the sealing and who not to (not trying to justify your friend in anyway, but I know I shed a few tears over making those decisions) It's so hard when events that mean so much end us hurting others. I feel you girl and think you are very magnanimous. Good luck with everything!
BLOG RAGES are tthe best. I haven't done one for a while, but sometimes you need to rant, and ranting at the person won't actually fix things.
I had very few non family members at my cerimony. Big family, small room.
and sometimes people let other people take care of the invitations. I did my own, but I'm sure I insulted my share of people.
But yes... people change. My H.S. B.FF is someone I thought I would always be close with. She once claimed that we grew apart, but I am conviced she did all the growing... or rather shrinking. I've learned after several failed rekindling attempts, that she is simply a fair weathered friend who walks away from things she is afraid to confront, and I can't change that. I spent years thinking of her as my best friend, when better friends were right under my nose.
thus goes life.
wow, that is hard. I know that when I got married, it was all so fast and crazy, that I didnt really even have bridesmaids, and I STILL had friends who were upset that they weren't my bridesmaids, like I seriously would have INTENTIONALLY wanted to wrong people...
however, with her, that is a bit of a shock because I DID think you guys were super close! well, I love ya, and hope it doesnt suck attending.
-Molly
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