Decisions

I have been struggling lately. I know that the Church is true, there is no doubt in my mind. I have just been lacking in the desire to go to church. I know I feel better when I go to church. I feel good when I fulfill my calling. I just don't want to go to church. I know that it is no excuse, but I feel a little burned out. I would love the opportunity to go to church at the regular time and not have to write the weekly announcements on the board. So pretty much, I am experiencing cognitive dissonance over church, which I don't like. I want to be out of this rut.

My other problem is that I see people around me getting the thing that I most desire. I am genuinely happy for them in their relationships. I wish them the best. I just want something like that to happen for me. I want to be in a relationship. I want to get married and have a family. I want the struggles and trials that come with marriage and family. Even through the struggles and trials I know that I will find my greatest happiness and joy. I feel guilty for being jealous of them, and I know that there are others who desire marriage more than I do. I suppose I am just frustrated because I "feel" like it is coming very soon, but I have been feeling like that for a year now and nothing has come to fruition. I suppose I just want to know.

P.S.~ The Giants beat the Patriots 17-14, thus blocking the Pats from having the perfect season. I went to Mike's Super Bowl Party and had really good food. I am still full.